Television Addictions

Last night I intended to go to church for the monthly community potluck (it was tacky taco party night) but I managed to completely forget about doing that. I watched television instead while my husband grumbled in the living room as he installed a digital editing program on La Kid's computer. What got me hooked was the second half of the Panther-Bears football game. What a terrific game. Of course, I was glad the Panthers won, but my allegiance was pulled in the other direction, too. I couldn't help rooting for Rex Grossman, the former GATOR, and he did have a pretty good game till the end there. Television is an insidious force. I just read an article in an old Harper's which mentioned that up until the the 1950s it was the evening habit of townspeople to go "visiting" in the evening. That racheted up the nostalgia in my bloodstream. How cool would that be? If at night, you bundled up and walked over to a neighbor's house to sit and chat for awhile or if people you liked dropped by your house and you sat out on the front porch and laughed and gossipped. I wonder if there was less spousal and child abuse in such situations? You'd think there would have to be because people wouldn't be so isolated. Of course, if there was violence in the house there wasn't much to be done about it back then. Digressing. I'm no historian though I do like a good history book.

Back to television. So after the game, 24 comes on. I could feel the hook sliding into me. I was completely addicted to this show a couple years ago. The way they got me hooked was by showing it without any commercial interruptions one time on TV. It's an egregious show in some ways--sanctifying and justifying violence with cardboard cut-out bad guys and hopelessly attractive victims (Michelle who is smart and good and pretty and someone you'd love to hang out at the coffee shop with--dead!) and then there's Jack Bauer (Jake Delhomme with a gun); we almost scream, "Go! Jack! Go!" The show is on FOX network. And the news show that is on all the time is FOX News. (Let's give the Nazi propagandists a run for their money, okay?) Being an American, I have suckled at the tit of Mother Culture enough to love the taste of violence. It occurred to me this morning as I was thinking about writing this that it would be so simple for people to just stop killing each other. Killing is not fun, not profitable in the long run and it can't be easy. And yet we do it. Humans, I mean. In wars. In fights. In anger. In greed. Not all of us, but enough of us so that it makes life on the planet a ridiculously unfair proposition. Oh, stop digressing. If I had anything original to offer on the matter, I would.

So I'm hooked once again. However, the commercial breaks that completely prevent any real emotional connection with the story may sabotage their attempts to keep me hooked. They're so stupid that way. But I guess enough people can put up with it that it doesn't matter. I was thinking of TV shows I've been addicted to over the years. When I was five years old, I laid an enormous guilt trip on one of my brothers by crying inconsolably when he caused me to miss Lassie. I rarely missed an episode of that show, and at the end when Lassie held up her paw I would try to shake it, running my small cupped hand up and down the television screen. I also had the Saturday morning cartoon line-up memorized. From Roadrunner to Johnny Quest, I was enamored. Later I watched The Wild, Wild West with steadfast devotion. I loved Artemis Gordon and all the ridiculous, elaborate inventions they had. And I think the masochistic element in me was guiltily attracted to the misogynistic tendencies of our hero. Remember the woman who gets smacked in the jaw to the jaunty tune in the animated opening credits? Then Star Trek. Star Trek has so many metaphysical lessons in it that I believe it may have actually advanced our culture the tiniest bit. I watched all of the incarnations except for Deep Space Nine and the last one (Enterprise?) religiously, fanatically, loyally. You couldn't call me during Star Trek.

And then there was Miami Vice. So stylistic. I love South Beach. Don Johnson was so hot. The acting was campy. I couldn't leave the house on Friday nights until I had gotten my fix.
Oh, and Perry Mason. Before my husband and I were married, when we lived together in our little house in Dania, we would watch Perry Mason reruns almost every day. Perry was so extremely cool and sexy in an understated way. (Okay, the gay thing.) And Della Street. The quintessential secretary. Brilliant. Not to forget Paul, the blond rake. And always the murderer would confess on the witness stand, pissing off the usually smug prosecutor time and time again. Would he never learn? You can't beat Perry.

My family and I went through a long "JAG" phase. JAG was perfect because it was something we could all watch. The violence was minimal. It was more about legal sleuthing and personality issues. And the Mac-Harm relationship was endlessly fascinating and infuriating. I'm glad it finally ended, though. How much longer could they possibly drag it out? Now my daughter and I are hooked on Gilmore Girls. For New Year's Eve, her best buds from next door came over and brought the DVD sets they had gotten for Christmas. We ate popcorn and pastries from the party down the street and watched show after show after show--commercial free. It was the best New Year's Eve I can remember. Enough is enough. I've got to get to work.