Rain Man

Last night my kid and I watched Rain Man. I hadn't seen it in ... a really long time. But somewhere she had picked up the "definitely . . . definitely" rain man thing, and so I decided it was time for a little film enrichment. (Last weekend we watched Some Like it Hot because she wasn't exactly sure who Marilyn Monroe really was. Lord, what a funny film. I love the way they felt free to play with realism back then.)

And so this weekend we watched Rain Man. She thought Dustin Hoffman was fantastic--"Or is he really like that?" she asked.

"No," I said. "In another year or so, we'll watch The Graduate."

I thought Tom Cruise was good, too. Overall it was just a funny, touching, very watchable movie. I loved the way the writers used the big old car and the two brothers' in-depth knowledge of the car and its family value as a plot device. Of course, that opening shot with the Lamborghini (sp?) flying across the top of the screen is classic. It makes you realize how important location is in capturing the viewer's interest.

I have heard over the years some people complain about "the defective character" instant shoo-in for awards syndrome. As if there were something manipulative and false about the way "the differently abled" are portrayed. But I disagree with this view. You go into a movie knowing that you are not watching a documentary or a PBS special. It's a story, a narrative and hence it will not portray anyone or anything accurately. That doesn't lessen the truth that may be found in such stories. The point of Rain Man is not that the system is stupid and that Raymond should be able to live with Charlie. The point is that Charlie has been changed for the good--become more human and more humane--through his interaction with his autistic brother. This is the theme: when we are taken out of our selfish little worlds by having to care for another, our hearts open in ways to beautiful to express in words.

I'm sure I didn't get this the first time I saw the movie fifteen years ago or however long it was. But for the past year I have been caring for my elderly mother. She moved to a retirement community nearby and needs a lot of attention, which isn't all that easy for me to do considering neither of my siblings is nearby and I'm raising a teenager, trying to take care of a house, a man, and two pets, and editing and writing fulltime. It's frustrating at times and physically exhausting and full of worries (like how many more teeth are going to break apart and how much is it going to cost??). It's also been one of the most gratifying experiences of my life.

My daughter sometimes resents all of the attention that has been diverted from her. But I'm hoping she'll take away something from that movie we watched, even if it's only the nagging suspicion that there's more to this "duty" of mine than meets the eye. Taking care of another person who needs you is more than duty; it's a sacred privilege. It's as if the God inside you said, "Here, this will soften your heart. You can't get into heaven with a hard heart." And whoever that person is who needs your help is giving you this gift. Nothing you can do will ever be enough to pay them back for the spiritual growth you've gained in the process. So you don't worry about it. Someday, you may be giving that same gift to another person.